On Being Thankful

We took little G out of school on Thursday so that the 3 of us could attend the Thanksgiving service at St. Paul's Cathedral. This special service has been held for 50 years and has become a tradition among America visitors and expats alike.

The service began with four marines from the American Embassy detachment in London, three of them Iraq war veterans, carrying our flags into the cathedral and laying them on the altar. The service was also attended by the Ambassador of the United States of America and his wife, Mrs. Robert H. Tuttle. He spoke of the unique relationship between our two countries, his role as ambassador here, and then read President Bush's Thanksgiving proclamation. At the closing of the service, the congregation sang "America the Beautiful". As we sang, tears began streaming down my face, quite unexpectedly I might add. I cannot tell you how moved I was standing beneath the cathedral's soaring dome while singing our song, ever reminded that I am in the very country in which our forefathers fled in order to escape a rather volatile political environment almost 400 years ago. That moment was quite surreal, one I will never forget.

There is another part of the service, though, that I have not been able to get out of my head. An American minister from the International Community Church in London gave the sermon. He suggested that as we reflect on our feelings and more specifically, of our translation of thanksgiving, those of us sitting in the congregation could be divided into two distinct groups: those that forget to give thanks or choose not to because we feel a sense of entitlement for the many gifts and blessings we have received, and those that feel as if we have nothing to give thanks for right now due to tough times or tough situations.

Thankfully, I don't feel as if we fall into the second group. Despite the uncertain economic environment right now, my husband has a job, there are no hints of job loss at this moment, our children are healthy and happy, we have a warm home and plenty to satisfy our every need.

That's not to say I have never fallen into that group. There has been one season in my life in which I truly felt forsaken. It was a dark time. I found myself questioning God, trying to figure out how He could allow such pain and sorrow. To say that I was incapable of giving thanks and praise during that time would be more than an understatement. That season has passed and brought with it insight and understanding that can only come from making your way through such a period of suffering.

During the service, it didn't take long for me to figure out which group I fell into today.

Especially since I think I heard the minister use my first and last name as an example in the first group he described. Boy, my heart was exposed and I felt that the Lord was speaking directly to me.

Those that don't offer thanks because they feel entitled, or that they are deserving, or in my case, that they get so caught up in the day-to-day stuff, that they simply lose their focus and forget.

How can I forget?

I can tell you precisely how I forget. I have said numerous times now that I am a planner, a list maker, a task master. I feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment when things get done, tasks are crossed off, jobs are completed.

However, I have learned that it is pretty difficult to be proud and thankful at the same time. My sense of pride stems from things I've done or earned or worked hard to achieve on my own. My sense of thanksgiving comes from knowing that all of this, every single bit of it, comes from God. He gives. He blesses. He allows. He protects. He loves.

Giving thanks is not something we do. It is who we are.

I have a lot of work to do here. Being thankful is a trait that I continue to grow in. The more time I spend in true, authentic thanksgiving, the greater I find my appreciation for Him, for His presence in my life, and for all He has done and continues to do.